When you do not create a space for yourself, fear and frustration take that space for themselves.
14 years of schooling in one small town and four years of college, just 100 kilometers away, did not give me a wide exposure through a geographic sense. However, I compensated the lag because I created a space for myself wherever I went.
As a proactive student in class, I was given the responsibility of being the class representative often. Being proactive gave me an opportunity, or in other words, forced me to interact with the entire class. By doing so, I got a sense of how the community around me was. After four years of engineering, I wore a different cap, this time as an employee in the same college. This widened my perspective as I was able to see the problem of frustration and fear from two angles.
What I had and my friends didn’t have was the “Your Space”
Fear and Frustration:
My understanding of fear is that it is the inability to predict if you will get what you wanted and frustration is the indifference in getting what you want with what you have.
Taking these two out of the equation can be tricky. But by creating your space, the chances for happiness are on your side.
You are God, and the “your space” is your shrine!
If a place gives you the ability to be yourself and also to disconnect yourself from the world you don’t want to be in, then that is your space. Your space could be the corner table in the café or your garden. I get my space when I ride my bike.
As it differs for every person, there is no definition that I can give you as to what constitutes or makes a space, “your space”.
Since you are God in this shrine, you can do what you want. You can define your style.
I have my shrine now, so what?
Space and time dedicated for yourself in a day are vital to boost your creativity. These are zones where you can bring the best out of yourself. By not expecting anything in return, do what makes you happy. Chase those dreams of yours or become better at the note you have been trying to master.
You can define your space by,
1 – Choosing what you want to do.
Being clear is one trait most successful leaders have. This gives purpose and focus. So with the space in place, make sure you are clear with what you want to do with it.
If you do not know what you want to do, answer this question to yourself – “What are the three things you will do if you had three extra hours a day?”
2 – Blocking the ‘alone’ time.
Your space, your time, your rules! By blocking time, double check that there won’t be any form of disturbance. Make use of the airplane mode in your phone!
With the time in hand start doing what you wanted to do.
3 – Having consistent rituals
Creating this your space and alone time is a form of culture. Every culture needs rituals. Being ritualistic is also being consistent about it.
One way to maintain consistency is to pave a path of least resistance yourself. When your driving factor is not strong enough, your mental immune system kicks in. It is natural for the mind to choose the path of least resistance and when that happens, your ritual breaks, your culture is gone, and your goal to grow goes down the drain.
The bed is the path of least resistance when you get up in the morning for a jog. That is why people say that the bed does not let me go in the morning! As if!
4 – Changing and repeating again
It is easier to climb the mountain when you let go of the dead weight.
As times goes, some targets die, and they no longer make any sense. Change targets once you get the feeling that you are carrying dead weight. Repeat from step 1
Since this space allows you to do what you want, there can no room for fear or frustration in the future. When we feel that we are not getting what we want, or when we are scared, it means that you have not used “your space”. But dont fret anymore, you can always create your space wherever you are.